My mind is a a thumbtrap.

So, it's been forever. Who do I have to impress. I've been going through some depression lately. Everything feels boring, stale and pointless. I can't get excited for anything and I just want to go home. I'm not even excited to start my job tomorrow. That's my employer's fault though. They took forever to call me back and even let me know when my training would be. Everything just seems to be so sporadic and la-di-da. I also don't like my roommates too much. They're stupid and lazy and boring. I know, I should give them a chance. But, I can't stand childish people. They're 20 years old. That's old enough that they should know how to do dishes, pick up after themselves and not complain about where all the milk went(they drank it). So, that stuff wouldn't be that big of a deal if they didn't do it all the time. It's just something that built up and I'm sick of it. I don't like complaining about it, but it's a runaway train and only time will slow it down. I don't really like Nebraska either. It's not too different, but that makes it worse. I want it to be so different that I'm always discovering and finding new things. But no, the people are mostly the same, just more conservative, they talk the same, walk the same. It makes me miss home more. I'm only 11 hours away from home. That's a day trip in my mind! But we never went home before I got the job because "we just got here". Seth won't admit it, but he never really wanted to go to Wisconsin. Now he's saying that we could have gone at any time and it's my fault. Even if I wanted to go visit, I don't know where we'd stay. My brother just moved in with my parents. Maybe at my sister Gina's house. I just feel out of place here and not very confident. That's not so unusual for me, but... I don't know. I don't have any support here... Seth is normally ok, but when I'm upset, he doesn't understand why,so he isn't very helpful.

I'm gonna hate it even more in winter. I just know it. I really can't wait for fall though! I want pumpkins and orange leaves and caramel apples! I want them right now! It seems as though the horrible heat has finally left. Thank goodness!

I can't think of anything positive to write, so I'm just gonna go. Maybe I'll be back soon.

Grace Face