June 14, 2011

eh... I'm feeling numb. Well, more buzzing than numb... some kind of emotionless feeling.  Shock? Oh well, it's better than feeling miserable and drowning in cast off kleenex tissues. Maybe I just feel powerless... To change my life, to control my relationships with people, to shut my mouth...

And my back hurts. Haha...

Two nights ago my dad told me to "grow up"(yeah, whatev) and yesterday afternoon I was thinking about it while furiously cleaning off the stairs and the hallway below.

My dad really isn't a shining example of a grown up, so I have to look elsewhere for an example. What is a grown up? How is it defined? Obviously not by age.

Back to the stairs. I had stubbed my toes for the LAST TIME!!! I was so pissed, I started to take all my brother's crap and put it in his room, and I took all my mom's crap and put it in the attic. FYI- I didn't have more than 2 things on the stairs.
And then after making like 15 trips up and down, I freaking swept them... As I was bent over, wondering whether or not I would go tumbling down, I realised: 
"Being a grown up means that when something pisses you off, you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT."

When things need to be fixed, changed, refreshed, bought, sold, cleaned, or finished, it takes initiative and a can do attitude, and yes, maybe a little bit of anger to get it done.

There is always a driving force behind every great action. If people thought things were "fine" and they were happy, nothing would ever change. But things aren't always fine, and they sure as hell aren't always happy. 
I think that this all boils down to me wanting to get the heck out of this house. I LOVE my family, but they are far from inspiring... They just live... I hate people that just "live". 
After putting up the post about introverts I had a somewhat scary thought... I love being alone, and I don't mind have few interactions with people, but... What if my whole life, I only have a few close friends? I only rely on my family? And I never talk to anyone?? I need to get out of my comfort zone, seriously. 
I've only got one life and I'm ready to live it... Now if only I could just get some money.

Top ten myths about introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

I love talking. All the time. Even on the phone :) I guess a lot of introverts don't like phones, but they hold a special place in my heart. Awwww....

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

I experience this a LOT. Mostly with my sisters... I'd rather talk about personal things, but first we have to beat around the bush and they have to mention certain things, like how they like my shirt... Ugh... Just talk! And heaven forbid someone asks me about my day... Mood killer...

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Oh, yeah... Recharging :D It's amazing just to escape...

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Yup, if there are more than 3 people around me, I don't even feel like talking. I never liked the feeling like I was fighting to be heard. 

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

I have to disagree with this one a bit. I love adventure and thrills. Just not all the time or for long periods of time.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Yes!! Haha! Also, it has been proven that people who stay up later at night have higher IQs.


If you want to do find out your own Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator, here you go :
MBTI

June 10, 2011

Just wait...

I haven't written anything meaningful in awhile. I think it's because I've been feeling like there is no time. That's impossible for me. I'm rich in time. Too bad that Time=Money doesn't work that way.
Since I'm about to be absolutely broke, with no job, no future, what feels like no boyfriend, and no pride... I feel oddly prepared. This feels like one of those character building times in life. The kind everyone who is anyone seems to have had.

The smart important people that is. Fuck you Kardashians and Paris Hilton.

I'm not worried. Too much.

No. I'm lying.

I know that as long as I can live with my parents, I'll be ok, and my basic needs will be met.
I don't want to live like I'm a child though.
I can't let any circumstance stop me from overcoming this. Not my own fears, not my worries about others.
I need this stress, I need this fear, I need this...

But I want to run away so much.

I just want to take my last couple hundred dollars and buy a ticket somewhere and... I don't know... Breathe? Air is still free right?

I think one of the things that scares me the most is that I'm even thinking of the military as an option.
I, of course, throw that option out of my head as fast as possible.
I don't stand for that. I want to be in control of my life.

Which... Well, I'm not. Shit.

Being in control is overrated. No one has their shit straight anyway.
I'll be trying to keep perspective, and, it makes me kind of sick to say, stay positive.
Nevermind, I'll try for realistic... I can handle that.

Happy trails to youuuuuu....

L.G.K./W.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
—Spanish Proverb
 

June 9, 2011

Some Things I Like

Random Amazon book reviewer "...a man searching for life's great metaphor only to find a thousand clichéd similes...".

"Some dreams don't come true. But you can always make new ones" - Supposedly a 4 year old said that. I found it in a little booklet that came with one of Cole's toys.

June 8, 2011

:D

June 3, 2011