I never thought my life would end up like this. Ever. I am ashamed and disappointed. And it's all my fault. Maybe I'm just not strong enough. I don't even know how I've gotten through the past couple days... All I've wanted to do is just curl up and cry... I don't know what I want, but I don't want what I've got. I just want out.

Haha... My dog thinks I'm insane, I think. "why the he'll is Lindsay moaning like that and why is that stuff coming out her eyes? What a party pooper. Woof".

I don't think I've ever felt so alone... I don't think I've ever felt so weak and indecisive. Someone could come and walk all over me right now, and I wouldn't even care. On the outside, it seems like things are going good for me. I can't seem to make myself believe it though. Things will get better... That's the only thought that keeps me sane. They've got to get better.

I need a tissue. Later.