Sometimes...

... You have to go against the grain. Defend your beliefs to the death. Be proud.
Have the strengths to withstand insults.

"Don't you cherish anything", my mother asked...

Yes, mom... Just not the things you do.
I cherish warm summer days, conversations with my friends, sharing memories with my family, writing, the pictures that I have scattered about, my left behind unfinished paintings, the blanket I've had since I was 3, the letter I sent to Grandma Lou that was in her mailbox when she died, my family history, the millions of questions I have yet to ask about the world, the smiles of my nieces and nephews when they try to get away with something, the smell of lilacs and coffee grounds, cooking with good food, traveling, books....

Why would you say such a thing?
I don't dream of babies and getting married again. I don't dream of settling down. I don't dream of a cookie cutter life. For now, this is my life. I want to live it for me. You don't need to have children to leave a legacy, and you don't need a man to feel whole.

Sometimes, I wish my mom was a little younger.

Should I apologize for thinking too much and picking everything apart to find out how/why/what?

Bloody hell.

If I Had a Baby...

Exit Through The Gift Shop

I've been trying to watch this documentary for a while, and I finally did this morning. Exit Through The Gift Shop was hilarious. For once I didn't look up anything about it before I watched it, a strange occurrence in the digital information age, and I was more than pleasantly surprised! I already knew it was about street art, and that it had been directed by Banksy. It starts off as a serious documentary about the rise of street art, or about one man's arrival onto the secretive scene of street art, and quickly becomes about Thierry Guetta, a strange creature with a camera constantly in hand. The whole documentary is worth a watch, but it really comes into it's own in the last 20 minutes or so... There have been rumors that it really is a mockumentary, created by Banksy, as just another hoax, but... I really don't know, and that makes me smile. Haha, true or false, watching Guetta's ego build is quite something.

I've been longing to get out on the streets and do some of my own graffiti, and I think I'm THIS close to doing it :) I just need to find some cardboard for stencils. Or maybe I could just freehand it? I haven't spray painted anything since high school, so I don't know how good it will be... And I need more paint.

Soooo...

I almost don't want to jinx myself by mentioning this, but I have a job interview at 5! It's for Goodwill... I need a job, so I don't really care where it is. It's in a wonderful location for riding my bike or walking to! Hopefully, I manage to make a wonderful impression on them! They're doing a whole day of interviews, and I'm going pretty late in the day. I hope I get picked! Aaaah!!! I'm just stoked to have finally gotten an interview! I almost didn't go because I'm babysitting my sister's kids, but I worked it out, and I don't have to watch them until 6 now.
I went to Milwaukee earlier, to have a pre-surgery physical. I didn't need any labs done. They took my pulse and blood pressure, looked in my ears, weighed me, then told me I was good to go, haha! Afterwards, my mom and I met my sister Amy and my niece Kayla for lunch at Applebee's. It was nice to see Kayla! I haven't seen her in... A while... Um, over a year? Two years? I think it's been longer since I've seen my niece Dana. They're the oldest and they've already moved out of the house and stuff. So it's hard to see them often.
It's been raining all day. I wouldn't mind if it wasn't so chilly. I got to use my umbrella! And it was cool being in a big city and watching everyone run around with their umbrellas. Umbrellas tell a lot about people. Whether or not someone has one, what color it is, collapsible or not, etc. Mine is a long, black one that I found in a garbage can in New York :) I love it, and that cheap thing has worked wonderfully for me so far. I also have one of those giant, stadium ones. My sister gave it to me because it had been in the flood and she thought she'd die from it or something, haha...
I better go get changed and do something with my hair...

Woooo! Job interview!!

Quote of the Day

You don’t grow by staying within your comfort zone. You’ll be a stinky stagnant little pool of moldy potential with little insects buzzing around and having desperate sexy times and laying eggs all over the damn place.
~Phil McAndrew 

CAT MASSAGE

This brought tears to my eyes, and I couldn't even vocalize my laughter... Oh my goodness...



BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I Think I've Found It... Something NEW. Mind blowing For Sure

Oh Sweet Lord, YES!!

An Aha Moment

Via: Medical Billing And Coding

Yup...

Story of my life, man, story of my life....

Bitchin'

What would I do with a camera like this??

Probably the same thing this guy did, haha! Over 2,000 frames a second is insane!!


Locked in a Vegas Hotel Room with a Phantom Flex from Tom Guilmette on Vimeo.

Hmm...

"But mostly it was long stretches of waiting, trying to live her life, pretending she was independent and strong when she was just a woman spending her life waiting. For a man. So, who was the real fool, she asked herself with disgust..."
~A Cup of Friendship by Deborah Rodriguez~

I had this thought a couple months ago... How interesting that it would show up in a book I'm reading now. It's a good book, so far. About an American woman who owns a cafe in Kabul, Afghanistan. Here's another quote, by Donovan Hohn:

"Never mind that only 5 percent of plastics actually end up getting recycled. Never mind that the plastics industry stamps those little triangles of chasing arrows into plastics for which no viable recycling method exist. Never mind that plastics consume about 400 million tons of oil and gas every year and that oil and gas will in the not so distant future run out. Never mind that so-called green plastics made of biochemicals release greenhouse gases when they break down. What's most nefarious about plastic, however, is the way it pretends to deny the laws of matter, as if something-anything-could be made from nothing; the way it is intended to be thrown away but chemically engineered to last. By offering the false promise of disposability, of consumption without cost, it has helped create a culture of wasteful make-believe, an economy of forgetting."
~Moby Duck: The True Story of 28,000 Bath Toys at Sea and the Beachcombers, Oceanographers, Environmentalists, and Fools, Including the Author, Who Went in Search of Them~

Is it a good day for music videos?! It always is!

Echoes

I'm listening to music on Myspace right now... And I swear I can feel the echoes from how empty it is... Where did all the people go? I was never a big Myspace user, but it's kinda creepy. It's almost as though there was a mass exodus to the holy land of Facebook. It's actually kinda interesting. What happens when websites die? Nothing, I guess. I know that Myspace is owned by Rupert Murdoch now. And I vaguely remember thinking about that back when it was news. Murdoch is a freak. He owns the news, pretty much.
I've been realizing something today. For the longest time, I figured that, as much of a screw up my brother was, he was still a good dad.

I'm starting to think he isn't. I don't want to. So I'm not really going to say much. Because... If my brother isn't at least a good dad, then what is he good at?
Most weekends I end up hanging out with Mason, and I love it! I love that little guy! He's the best, but, I am the one that plays with him and watches him most of the time. Or he goes by my sister Julie and her kids. Soo.... Yeah... Bryan has a new girlfriend and I'm seeing a lot more of Mason. It isn't a very complicated equation.

Ok, enough about that. I've been keeping my chin up lately. I'm very proud of myself. *pats herself on the back*

I'm still applying for jobs. I need to have a marathon session, I think. I need to do like 20 in a day. Ugh, they're such a brain drain, though... I wish I had someone to do it with me. I've always needed someone else to motivate me. It's not a flaw, it means I have to interact with someone, sometimes :)

I've been snapping pictures with my SLR camera... Now that it's spring, there are things to take pictures of. I'll have to take a walk on the next nice day and see what I can find. I love my SLR camera, I love the film. Knowing that each shot has to be calculated, thought about, paid for... It makes me very choosy and I look to take more artistic shots. I don't really like going out into the world with it, though, people ask too many questions. Haha, "Are you a (professional) photographer?"um... duh.... Do normal people have hobbies anymore? I think I've been sheltered the past couple years. I'm really very curious, what do people in their 20's do for themselves? Other than sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and popping out kids?

Ooo, ooo! I got to tell my brother that a job doesn't make you who you are... I think he listened. For like two seconds. Oh, and a week or two ago, after being picked on when I woke up, I got to say that statistically, people who stay awake later have higher I.Q.s. Ha! Take that.

Sometimes, I wish I never moved back. I know I'd rather have them picking on me than sitting alone, in some far corner of the world, alone and missing them.

I just wish my family wasn't such a pain in the ass.

I've started wearing pencils in my ponytails. Now, I just need to find a place to put a notebook.

My happiness has increased dramatically lately. I think mainly because I've been staying off my computer.

Well, happy Sunday,

Lindsay Grace

Looks Like I Have A New Favorite Song

I can't believe this is The Beach Boys... I knew some of their songs were ahead of their time, but this song is just beautiful!

Someone Has Been Watching Me

And making a comic about my life! I feel so special! Haha!

http://www.viruscomix.com/page543.html


http://www.lycaeum.org/mv/M2/ventura.html

This song is guaranteed to make anything you're doing.... BETTER.

Bravo, sir, bravo...

About Bin Laden

I'm really very glad that I've been coming across quite a few articles and comments like this one:

*Update*
I found this quote that echoes my sentiments.

“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Osama Won

I've been thinking a lot about this. It is a little unusual for me. I never thought I would care if Bin Laden lived or died. I do, though.

His murder may have been justified. I am not a God and I cannot judge anyone. I personally believe there is no such thing as evil. I really  believe that an eye for an eye is bullshit.
And the fact that Americans took to the streets, filled with joy, makes me feel fucking sick.
As outside of the norm as Osama Bin Laden's life was, he was still human. This is a somber occasion.
I just wish Americans (outside of Wisconsin, of course, we're already proving our awesomeness) could get that riled up about something important and create a real reason the celebrate.

I know, I know... Beggars and horses and all that lot...

Ugh.

I almost feel that I am in mourning. Mourning because every time the government said Osama was alive, I cried "liars!", mourning the figurehead of terrorism for the past 10+ years.... The war in Afghanistan is a different war now, then it was 9 years ago, but... Why are the soldiers there? It's a childish feeling really... Ooo, analogy time:

We fought the playground's biggest bully and bloodied his nose. But now he's crying and everyone is looking at us funny. What do we do now?

We're still here, and we still have to go to school with the bully, but how do we coexist? Will the bully retaliate? Will we become the new bullies?

I really wish we'd get suspended from school all together..

Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.


I am really fascinated by the supposed duality of the world, and I just came across this video that will keep me fascinated.

Happy May Day!

I just went for a walk to get cigarettes and it was one of those moments where everything in my body just "clicked". It made me remember what a marvelous machine the human body really is.

**Breaking News**

 Osama Bin Laden is dead. For real.
I personally thought he died in a cave years ago.